Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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