Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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