I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize