If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
