i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
