i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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