why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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