I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
