So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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