We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
