But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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