Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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