you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
