she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
