Please, let me fuck your mom
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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