Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It's never too late to be topless.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
