I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
