Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
