I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
