Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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