Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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