i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
