Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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