their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
