the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
