You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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