Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
