My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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