you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize