id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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