You're my little dorito
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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