We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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