It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
