FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
