is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
