New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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