Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Everclear isn't food dammit
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize