Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize