i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
