She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i believe in u and ur pee
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
