his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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