I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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