All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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