I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
