hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
