you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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