That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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