Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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