i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
