Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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