wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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