Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize