If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
