There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
