There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
