I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
