Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
