I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
