I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize